CLARITY BLOG

The Bounce Is Back...

2011-05-06T14:06:00.000-07:00

International Women's Day

2011-03-08T16:45:00.000-08:00

When it comes to "Battle Of The Sexes" (Not the shitty Ludacris album), there's no doubt that MEN will always out do women. Whatever happened to "Girl Power"??? Did it grow up & realize that Women, at the end of the day, don't have any power??? I mean, sure women can control men with their vagina, but what about homosexual men??? I wouldn't mind a gay-male President (Shit, I wouldn't mind a Lesbian President). I think I would feel like I live in a country that everyone can take advantage of, if our President was a straight woman.

Let's face it, the strongest Women are mostly Lesbians & even then, they don't have the capability of a real man. Let's run down a couple of reasons why women aren't better than men:

*They use smaller balls when they play basketball

*They use a bigger ball when playing baseball/softball

*The best chefs are men

*The best comedians are men

*Men make the best music

(Nobody thinks "Heart" is the greatest band of all time)

With that said;

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY!!!

The Great Showdowns

2011-03-02T20:35:00.000-08:00

Beetlejuice

Jurassic Park

The Godfather

Se7en

Scarface

Back To The Future

Back To The Future 2

Fight Club

Pee Wee's Big Adventure

Robocop

FRIDAY

Terminator 2: Judgment Day

Pulp Fiction

Short Circuit

Tweet, Tweet, Vatican Assassin Warlords

2011-03-01T15:35:00.000-08:00

Seeing that Charlie Sheen has opened a TWITTER account, here are a couple of guesses what his first tweets will be:

*I'm getting drug tested everyday, and by drug tested I mean a hooker tastes the coke before I snort it

*Yes, porno stars babysit my kid. But remember, Denise Richards is their mom, so its kinda normal for them

*Emilio helped those shitty Ducks, but he's too busy to help me

*@drdrew, you're BLOCKED!

SIDEBAR:

Charlie Sheen interviews have becomes this

UPDATE: I've uploaded a clip from today's Hot97 morning program, where they used my idea for a game, on their show. CHECK IT OUT

SHOUT OUT TO ROSENBERG!

DOWNLOAD

My Own Murtaugh List

2011-02-28T19:37:00.000-08:00

Although I'm only 25, here are just a couple of things I'm too old to do:

*Go to a club/rave

*Attend a quinceñera/sweet 16 (unless it's CLOSE family)

*Wear a shirt with a comic book character on it

*Stand in line to play a video game at Best Buy

*Fight because someone looked at me the wrong way

*Be on MYSPACE

*Think a girl is "cool" because she can burp

Happy B-Day George

2011-02-24T20:16:00.000-08:00

Seeing that I probably won't be near a computer tomorrow, I might as well go ahead & post this tonight...

Triangles, Circles, & EMINEM

2011-02-22T00:02:00.000-08:00

How come none of you guys ever tell me that Alcoholics Anonymous is part of the Illuminati??? Geeez, it’s like I have to do everything myself!!!

I first suspected that there was a connection between Eminem, Alcoholics Anonymous & the Illuminati last week, when I saw a picture of Eminem in what appeared to be an Illuminati necklace, at the Grammys. There was a post on MTV’s stupid ass rap blog about how Eminem wore this necklace and medallion, supposedly the symbol for Alcoholics Anonymous, to the Grammys. I took one look at it and I was like, WHAT THE FUCK??? Why does Eminem have an Illuminati symbol on his bling bling???

I recognized that little triangle symbol right away from all the "Illuminati" analysis videos that claim well known members like Jay-Z, Beyonce, Lady Gaga & Kanye West. It’s also on the back of a dollar bill, as discussed in many other videos...

SIDEBAR: Did you know that George Washington grew a shit load of weed at Mount Vernon? He thought it would be a good cash crop for the southern states. Behind every good man is a woman, and for George Washington that woman was Martha Washington. Every day he’d come home from work and she’d have a fat bowl waiting for him. She was a hip, hip lady...

I did a quick Google search on “Alcoholics Anonymous Illuminati,” and wouldn’t you know, there were pages of results about how Alcoholics Anonymous was started by members of the Illuminati. Shocker!!! I clicked on the first result which broke down some of the similarities between the Illuminati and Alcoholics Anonymous, aside from just having the same logo.

One of the symbols used by Crowley to identify his fraternal order is the Masonic triangle within a circle with the acronyms A.A. inscribed below it. This symbol is now known globally as the symbol of Alcoholics Anonymous.Crowley published a book in 1922 entitled Diary of a Drug Fiend. In this book Crowley presents a satanic program of recovery from drug addiction. Throughout Diary of a Drug fiend, its publication predating Alcoholics Anonymous by 17 years, there are many themes and phrases, both similar and identical that are also common in “The Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous. These themes include “abandoning free will”, “abandoning ones self”, “it’s beyond human power”, “god is beyond conception”, “Do what thou wilt”, “Do with me as thou wilt” etc. The identical ideology of these doctrines is this: free will is useless therefore hand your will over to someone or something else.

Of course MTV’s rap blog explained that the circle with a triangle in it, is the symbol for Alcoholics Anonymous, and this was meant to show how serious Eminem is about his sobriety. It’s one thing to make an album about how you’re done using drugs and alcohol. It’s a whole other thing to wear a shiny necklace symbolizing your level of commitment. That necklace probably cost him a shit load of money...

SIDEBAR: Even though he’s probably got way more money than you’d think. He was the top-selling artist of the decade, even more so than the Beatles, and for most of that decade you could still make money selling CDs (without resorting to any scams via PayPal. I'm pointing at you Lil' Kim). The movie 8 Mile grossed over $242 million. (I looked it up just now in the world’s most accurate encyclopedia.) He’s probably got way more money than you’d think. And yet you don’t really hear him mentioned in discussions of rich rappers. Hmm...

At any rate, I can’t imagine his Illuminati/sobriety chain would be fake, like Yung Berg’s Transformers chain. Not only would that not make sense, given his ridiculous wealth, but it would undermine his message about how it’s supposedly important to not do drugs and alcohol...

Speak for yourself, Em!

The fact that MTV, which recently funded a video by LCD Soundsystem that’s full of Illuminati imagery, the first music video to ever be funded by MTV (a coincidence, I’m sure), didn’t bother to mention the obvious Illuminati symbolism in the design of Eminem’s bling bling. This of course led me to believe that MTV was purposely trying to distract people from finding out the real meaning of that little circle with the triangle in it, which I’m sure has to do with submitting yourself to members of the Illuminati for ritualized anal rape, or something disgusting like that. (Not that there’s anything wrong with gay people. Just saying.) Lest we forget, the triangle is the international symbol for homosexuality, and that’s why Christian supremacist groups were trying to have Teletubbies canceled, because the purple one had a big triangle on its head. (The color purple is also gay – both the Broadway musical, which I believe Oprah is involved with. and the actual color.)

As far as why the Illuminati would have Eminem wear this symbol to the Grammys on his bling bling, I suspect that it was meant to send out messages of homosexuality to today’s youth on a subconscious level. When you see Eminem in an Illuminati necklace, you might not think anything of it, but on a subconscious level, it makes you that much more likely to take it up the ass. As discussed by the Vigilant Citizen; "Rap videos these days are full of such imagery, and that’s why today’s youth is so much more tad more gay than kids who grew up in the 1990s, when rap music was about something. (Let me know if I’m getting too deep here...NO HOMO)

But that necklace is definitely weird-looking and thus destined to arouse suspicion, amongst other things, and that’s why the Illuminati specifically ordered MTV to explain, to people dumb enough to believe anything it says on the MTV website; That the medallion on Eminem’s necklace is the symbol of Alcoholics Anonymous, of which Eminem is a member. Even though I thought the whole idea of Alcoholics Anonymous is that it’s anonymous, hence the word anonymous in its name...

Tweet Tweet, MUTHAFUCKERS!

2011-02-17T16:35:00.000-08:00

In a world where breaking news leaks faster than a "New York Minute", social media networking heavyweight, Twitter has become the go-to source. Whether it’s finding out about Cee-Lo Green’s secret pre-Grammy show, or discovering that Saigon’s The Greatest Story Never Told is No. 1 on iTunes hip-hop charts (congrats Entourage character!). The fascination & popularity of Twitter has reached new heights.

As it continues to impact the way information is sent out, Twitter has also become a top tier for celebrities when it comes to interacting with fans. Recently, it was reported on Twitter that fashion designer, Marc Jacobs, is currently on the hunt via Twitter to find someone that would be able to "professionally" run his tweeting account. With the abundance of rappers on the social networking site, it’s without a doubt that a couple could use some tweeting advice, more so some tweeting help. Although there are a few occasional manufactured tweets being sent from their account.

With that said, here's a few MC's that should follow Mr. Jacobs in hiring someone to tweet for them:

Eminem

From the look of Em’s timeline, the lyrical assassin, could use some help on getting those inner thought on the Twitter rounds. Imagine what he or a hired gun could’ve tweeted last weekend while at the Grammys: “Just dropped an F-Bomb on stage, did ya’ll peep it?” And as much as I don't really care anymore, maybe some inside info on Detox, for those who are still interested, right???

Nas

"God’s Son" hasn’t really spewed much content in Twitterville. Hopefully it’s because he’s in the studio crafting a soon to be classic (HA! Doubt it). Wouldn’t it be cool to see a twitpic of Raekwon & Nas in an epic studio session. If Nas is to busy to Tweet, maybe he could employ his brother, Jungle, to snap pics and give us updates on his behalf.

Pusha T

Pusha Ton has publically declared that he doesn’t man his twitter but it would be dope (no pun intended) to see the new G.O.O.D. signee tweeting his day to day operations. Maybe some key (again no pun intended) advice or even some dishing out the progress on his highly anticipated Fear Of God mixtape.

Jay-Z

Hov on Twitter has become equivalent to spotting Big Foot in Brooklyn or figuring out the release date for "Detox". Not much to say here but, HELP!

Jadakiss

Although he does have his occasional tweets here and there, many would love to see Kiss drop a few more noteworthy tweets. Maybe, alongside Styles P, tweet the sequel to “The Heist, Pt. 1.” Hey even better yet, Styles P should just Tweet for his fellow LOX member...'

BTW, you can always follow me on TWITTER

HA!!!

NAS Goes To Africa (Not!)

2011-02-15T15:51:00.000-08:00

If Nas and Damian Marley’s Distant Relatives didn't accomplish anything, it at least made me realize that that song on Nastradamus, that samples “Africa” by Toto, was almost certainly Nas’ own idea...

The other day, I was reading a story in the New York Times about how Distant Relatives (which I’ve yet to hear) apparently has a lot to do with Africa, rather than, say; Nas’ native Queens, or Jamaica, or wherever Damian Marley grew up (wherever it was, I’m sure it was pretty dirty), and it got me to thinking about how Nas has been fascinated with Africa throughout his career.

I tried to think of all of the various times Nas has made reference to Africa. It wasn’t easy, because I’m not one of these Nas "Stan" fans. I’ve probably heard everything he’s done at least two or three times, but as I recently told some dude on TWITTER, it could very well be the case that I haven’t heard "It Was Written" in at least 6 years. Which was bad enough. I don’t have anything against "It Was Written", I just haven’t felt compelled to listen to it. Anyone else remember back when "It Was Written" was considered merely good for what it was, i.e. a well-executed sellout maneuver, but hardly a great rap album on a par with… I don’t know, an Ilmatic? Back before the inmates took over the asylum, the elevation of Nas’ post-Illmatic work is obviously part of the same trend in which the return of Shyne is something we were supposed to be excited about. I don’t know if it’s because people who actually have a proper frame of reference with regard to the late ’90s have long since given up on rap music, or what.

But I digress.

Up until just now, I figured that Nas song where he sampled “Africa” was part of the late ’90s trend of rappers sampling any old song from the 1980s. Remember the rap version “Electric Avenue,” or the rap version of “99 Luftballoons?” Wyclef Jean was behind a lot of that BULLSHIT, but Diddy, who invented most things in hip-hop (he was even the first person to travel to Europe), was the one who kickstarted the trend. He had Biggie rhyming over a lot of random ’80s records, but that Biggie tribute song was probably the one that touched off the free for all, when people realized that you didn’t even have to be a good rapper, you just had to have a beat that dumb people and white people found catchy. And the rest, as they say, is history.

But it turns out that “Africa the Nas Song” was probably part of a separate trend, of Nas’s silly, inexplicable fascination with Africa. Nas probably told LES, who, as I recall, produced “Africa the Nas Song,” to come up with a beat that conjured thoughts of the motherland, and LES remembered that there was an actual song called “Africa,” whose groove he could just grab, similar to how he came up with the one beat he contributed to Illmatic, and probably everything else he ever produced. How else to explain picking that song, of all the things you could sample? Even by late ’90s standards it seems like a retarded idea for a rap song.

Nas has always seemed fascinated with Africa, if not since Illmatic, at least since "It Was Written", in which he spoke of freeing every prisoner in Attica & sending them to Africa. I realize this is a reference to one of the demands of the hostage situation that took place at Attica back in the 1970s (er, at some point before the film "Dog Day Afternoon" took place), but how would Nas know that??? I doubt he’s familiar with the HBO movie about Attica, from the early ’90s. Even if he is, he probably shouldn’t admit to it. People who live in the projects shouldn’t have HBO! But if they do/did, it makes you wonder if they’re really as bad-ass as Nas described them on Illmatic. You know Nas couldn’t have read about it, or anything else, in a book, because he admitted a while back on 106 & Park that he hasn’t even read the book Michael Eric “Cornholio” Dyson wrote about him!!! I mean, who in the fuck doesn’t read a book that was written about them, unless they can’t read!!!???

The most famous & perhaps most hilarious Nas reference to Africa was in the film Belly, in which he planned to “go back to Africa,” per the demands of so many racists over the years. Again, we can’t be sure this was Nas’s idea without calling & asking him (which is impossible), since the movie was directed and presumably conceived by Hype Williams. But the movie was obviously heavily influenced by Nas’s music. Take for example the cringe-worthy scene in which Nas smokes weed (probably real weed) with an eight year-old boy, which is right out “One Love,” from Illmatic. The idea to go back to Africa may have been a reference to Nas lyrics I’ve long since forgotten, because I only like Nas' music when it’s worth a shit.

Which brings me to my point (yes, there is a point): Why is Nas so fascinated with Africa??? In his songs, he speaks of Africa the way a kid whose parents don’t care enough about him to make enough money to take him to Disney World speaks of Disney World – as if it’s the cleanest, most magical place on earth. Disney World is mad clean, but otherwise it’s kinda gay. I didn’t even care for it that much when I was a kid. "Six Flags" has better rides. You get the idea that Nas’ fascination with Africa is based on a similar ignorance. I probably shouldn’t begrudge him his desire to learn more about the motherland, just like I probably shouldn’t mock people who were denied a childhood. But I wonder what Nas really has to tell us about Africa. Has Nas even been to Africa??? We know Jay-Z’s been there, because there was that Rocawear ad with him carrying buckets of water to starving babies with flies on their faces. Similarly, if Nas had ever actually been to Africa, I’m sure we would have known about it by now.

The Takeover...

2011-02-12T17:26:00.000-08:00

Will the GOAT ever make it to the Super Bowl?

A week ago, Super Bowl XLV lived up to the hype. It was a tense, close game; Aaron Rodgers emerged as the NFL’s latest rocket-armed golden boy; and the Black Eyed Peas made me long for the days of counter-programming during halftime. (Remember that In Living Color halftime special???)

I FUCKING HATE the Black Eyed Peas. Nobody seems to ever understand my HATE for a group that had one of the best cd's in underground Hip-Hop history.

Ever since Justin Timberlake exposed Janet Jackson’s nipple at Super Bowl XXVIII, the NFL has been hyper-sensitive about who performs at the halftime show. (The Rolling Stones were censored at Super Bowl XL, for fucking sake!!! What year is this? 1966?) They’ve since trotted out Prince, a succession of older rock acts—Paul McCartney, Tom Petty, The Who, Bruce Springsteen and The Stones & now the Black Eyed Peas???

The February 2014 Super Bowl will be played at New Meadowlands Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey. Whoever produces the halftime show should tap Jay-Z to perform. No matter how many billionaires Jay-Z befriends, it will probably never happen. But if so, what should his set list look like? Keep in mind, the halftime show runs approximately 15 minutes and typically features an artists greatest (and cleanest) hits. Here are my guesses:

“Show Me What You Got” [1st verse only]

“Hard Knock Life” [Chorus only]

“Dirt off Your Shoulder” [Chorus only]

“Umbrella” featuring Rihanna [Jay-Z verse, Rihanna’s 1st verse and chorus]

“Run This Town” [1st verse only]

“Empire State of Mind” featuring Alicia Keys

“Encore” [1st verse only]

“Crazy in Love” featuring Beyonce

Noble Royalty

2011-02-07T22:12:00.000-08:00

Get yours HERE

Money For The Creator???

2011-02-03T20:15:00.000-08:00

Anyone else feel kind of weird when several rappers on Twitter were making a big show of cutting a check to Kool Herc, who was said to be in the hospital, suffering from a very serious illness, in need of surgery, and without health insurance???

It’s cool. Go ahead & admit it. No one visits this site except fucking losers...

(Only kidding. I LOVE all my "fans")

It’s not that I was concerned that Kool Herc might be able to pay his hospital bills. As far as I’m concerned, it should be your right as a human being to have access to whatever medical care you need, at least until the hospital goes out of “business.” Certainly, it should be a right, here in the US, the richest country in the world. The fact that it isn’t, is one many reasons why this country is slowly but surely (and maybe not so slowly) coming to an end.

I was more concerned with the fact that Kool Herc might end up with more than what it would cost to take care of his medical expenses. There’s a shit load of people on Twitter (though almost all of them are unemployed). If even a tiny percentage of them sent Kool Herc’s sister $5 via PayPal.

It was revealed in the New York Times, which must have had someone make a few phone calls, that the very serious illness Kool Herc "suffers" from is motherfucking kidney stones (Kidney stones??? Cosmo Kramer has fucking KIDNEY STONES & he lived!!!). Hardly a very serious illness though I’m sure it’s painful. Don’t they have to take those out through your dick?? Your piss would probably burn for a week, as if you’d fucked Kat Stacks without a rubber.

It just goes to show you how worthless hip-hop journalism can be at times. I think the initial reports about Kool Herc’s illness and financial issues came from that show DJ Premier hosts on Sirius, Friday nights. Right when I’m on my way to get drunk & act a fool. But I digress. I knew something was up yesterday, when I checked Twitter & I saw several updates that made it seem as if Kool Herc was on his deathbed. The fact alone that Kool Herc was trending made me think he might be dead. Keep in mind this was still a day before Black History Month. Then, a mere matter of hours later, I read that Kool Herc is actually at home, where he’d probably been the entire time. Who knows when he was actually in the hospital. But he definitely needs your money. WHAT THE FUCK???

I’ve always been wary of any story involving Kool Herc, ever since I discovered that he was involved in literary shenanigans having to do with a book for which he “wrote” the foreword. A few years ago, there was an article in New York Magazine about the effort to save 1520 Sedgwick, the building where Kool Herc invented hip-hop, which had been purchased by evil developers, like in The Goonies, & was probably about to be turned into a parking garage or a mall (You know, the usual). The guy who wrote the article tried to interview Kool Herc, but come to find out Herc, who came off like a real douche, doesn’t do interviews for free. The reporter (and NY Mag) weren’t about to cut him a check to describe, for the umpteenth time, how he invented hip-hop by mixing two James Brown records together at his little sister’s birthday (A process I heard was actually invented by a teh ghey guy anyway). I took this to mean that it was arranged for Kool Herc to receive a fee, from the publisher or possibly from the author himself, for writing the foreword (described by KRS-One as "WACK") to Jeff Chang’s "Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop": A History of the Hip-Hop Generation That Doesn’t So Much As Mention Biggie Smalls, in exchange for being interviewed for the book. Note that the book doesn’t include a disclaimer stating that the author paid some of the people he interviewed, & hence at least some of the information could be suspect.

Keep in mind, I’m not saying that this is what happened, because honestly I don’t know. It could be that Kool Herc wrote that amazing foreword for free, out of the kindness of his own heart. And the guy who tried to charge NY Mag for an interview was a Kool Herc impersonator. Why would Kool Herc be in the same building he was in in 1974??? Similarly, there’s no way of knowing whether Kool Herc really is that hard up for money to pay his hospital bills without looking at the contents of his bank account & his sister’s PayPal account & then having someone from the New York Times call the hospital & confirm that they’re not treating poor people for free anymore.

The part about him being on his death bed, as opposed to his actual bed, turned out to be BS, but I’m willing to chalk that up to a failure of hip-hop journalism...

Drama King Is In The Building...

2011-02-01T20:20:00.000-08:00

"If It Ain't Directed Directly At Me; I DON'T RESPECT IT"

Before you take shots at ANYONE, make sure your website doesn't look like something my 1 year old daughter could of put together...

Someone cue Jay-Z's "Takeover"

HA!!!

Place The Face With The Name

2011-01-30T14:44:00.000-08:00

"Think You Poppin'??? Next year, nobody will miss you" -Talib Kweli

What’s hot on the MEAN STREETS of the internets these days???

For starters, it looks like the "Hipster Rap" invasion of a couple of years back, has reached it’s natural conclusion. It started off with rappers wearing girl jeans & man purses & has now evolved to the inevitable final stage; Ironic Rap. These days, deliberately rapping like you have down syndrome is what’s popping. It was one thing when NY rappers would do a token Dirty South record on their album. These days, young dudes want to rap over some tinny drum machine that even MC Shy-D wouldn’t have fucked with in 1986. You’ve got the Mixxie Boys pouring bottles on the carpet of their mom’s basement & doing a poor-man’s version of Juve’s ‘Ha’, armed with nothing but "swag". No one’s expecting another Big L over here but rhyming ‘That’s Mixxie’ with ‘You Mixxie’ for a whole song is really stretching the friendship between Hip-Hop & I.

Odd Future made a whole video based on the joke of the world’s worst freestyle rap session, but their actual records are like Company Flow in Horrorcore mode, which is never a good idea. At least ‘The Based God’ Lil’ B made some funny shit like ‘Wonton Soup’, which is like the ultimate tribute to Ignorant Rap. JT Money from The Poison Clan must be proud as punch right now. In theory, I can’t say a bad word about anyone who releases a song called ‘Suck My Dick, Hoe’ in 2010. If only it was so easy to forgive his involvement with The Pack and that corny ‘Vans’ song, or his attempts to make fake ‘emo’ joints like ‘I Still Can’t Sleep’ and ‘Exhibit 6′. "DO NOT BE AFRAID TO CRY TO THIS" pleads the caption in the video. So that’s what’s been missing, huh? Emotionally Fragile Rap? Didn’t work out for Charles Hamilton so great, although Kid Cudi seems to be having a fine old time crying himself a river...

Elsewhere, other Rap staples such as Nikki Minaj and Lil’ Wayne have convinced impressionable rap fans that wacky voices & fake accents are the future of the funk. While many hip-hop critics were floored by the Black Barbie’s turn on ‘Monster’. Rapping like a cartoon character was already perfected by Snaggapuss from the Bounce Squad, ya big dummy! Weezy seems to have pioneered the genre of Gremlin Rap already, just don’t get him wet or feed him after midnight. Waka Flocka Flame has also proved that being a FUCKING IDIOT, is a winning formula, as listening to three of his tracks in a row will make you feel like a FUCKING brainiac by comparison to his Short Bus vocal stylings.

Rappers of tomorrow:

Don’t waste your time working on your vocabulary, breath control or just the simple fact of pronouncing out words. All that’s required is a ridiculous amount of swag, a gimmicky cartoon voice or the ability to cry on demand. If you can somehow combine all three you might just be the future of what I still call Hip-Hop...

KZER-GABE

2011-01-27T21:30:00.000-08:00

-KZERGABE GALLERY-

Fresh Out The Oven...

(This obviously didn't come out an oven. Shirts don't EVER come out an oven. Unless you're Cosmo Kramer & you're trying to dry your clothes. I think you get the point. If you don't, shoot yourself...)

& I Wonder...

2011-01-12T23:17:00.000-08:00

I sometimes wonder what an updated version of “I Used to Love H.E.R.” would sound like. In the years since the song’s release, hip-hop continued to grow to monumental proportions, much greater than anything even Common ever surmised. Hip-hop traded in its fitted hats for a suit & tie. Not only did it go commercial, but also became extremely business-minded (producing moguls like Diddy and the often the overlooked Master P).

The excitement the Hip-Hop world felt upon first seeing Curtis Blow in that Sprite commercial in 1986 (the first time we saw a rapper reppin’ a major brand like that on national television) was quickly destroyed when we saw the cringe-worthy KFC advert featuring MC Hammer, dancing for popcorn chicken. Now, after two decades of the music going increasingly mainstream & selling out at every turn along the way, hip-hop’s money-grubbing chickens are finally coming home to roost.

Forget the rapper-with-no-lyrical-skills-who-still-manages-to-make hit-after-hit-and-just-won’t-go-away-induced panic of late. I’m talking about how the face of hip-hop is changing. Take a look at the major up-and-coming artists who are actually making waves on the Billboard charts right now (B.o.B., Nicki Minaj, Drake).

B.o.B. is having an amazing year. In addition to going on tour and having two No. 1 singles on the Billboard charts, he was invited down to Washington, D.C. to perform for Obama. He received seven nominations for the BET Awards & performed at the VMA’s alongside Bruno Mars and Hayley Williams, of Paramore. And in case you have no access to a tele, he even rocked out in a Adidas commercials.

Nicki Minaj is breaking Billboard records left and right. She’s got an insanely allegiant following like no other artist out right now. She’s arguably the most exciting thing rap has seen or heard in a while. And you already know Drake’s story—in 2009 he dropped a mixtape that not only sounded like an album but was also immediately deemed a “classic” (a noble feat for a person who was relatively unknown before its release). He’s that kid in the Sprite, Kodak commercials, SNL & everywhere in between.

These three all have bars, that’s a given (anti-Minajs hold off for a second), but they’re also singing through half their records and a couple (or perhaps just one) is pandering to an audience that sure ain’t hip-hop, if anything.

You can rant, rave, and complain about artists like Minaj and Kid Cudi’s take on hip-hop, all you want but no matter how you slice it, it’s hip-hop. I already know where the “back-packers” are going to take that, but hear me out anyway;

It’s innovative.

At it’s best, we call it OutKast & Kanye West. At it’s worse it’s “Hip-Pop”

Now I’m not trying to make a huge statement here about the death of hip-hop, in it’s traditional form or any other. I’m just posing a question that’s been on my mind. Where is hip-hop going? As Hip-Hop fans, are we ready for it? Is Nicki, B.o.B., Drake and the lot truly where hip-hop is going next? Or just a recycling of where it’s already been (Nelly, anyone)? It’s likely that we’re not witnessing rap’s Armageddon but we might be witnessing the creation of a new subgenre that we’ve yet to label. Either way, Hip-Pop (there!) is coming at us with a nearly unstoppable force…

H.A.M

2011-01-10T21:06:00.000-08:00

DOWNLOAD the First single off "WATCH THE THRONE" -H.A.M

Jay's Top 5

2010-12-21T00:30:00.001-08:00

The BEST RAPPER ALIVE isn't only known for dropping a HOT 16 on his own albums;

These are, in my opinion, his top 5 BEST GUEST VERSES

Ban It From The Elements

2010-12-13T16:40:00.000-08:00

Hip-hop, as it’s defined by such (aging psychopaths) important scholars as KRS-One & Chief Rocker Busy Bee, is generally said to consist of four elements; rapping, break-dancing, DJing, & graffiti writing. I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that that fourth element, graffiti writing, should no longer be considered an element of hip-hop.

First of all, it’s worth noting that graffiti writing was only ever slightly related to hip-hop to begin with, having been invented by old white guys who were into classic rock and could care less about rap music. No less an authority on what counts and what doesn’t count in hip-hop than Jeff Chang noted this in his critically acclaimed Can’t Stop Won’t Stop: A History of the Hip-Hop Generation.

Hispanic Americans will often try to claim they invented graffiti writing during ancient times, but then they’ve been known to try to claim all kinds of shit.

Side Bar: Did you know that Mexicans invented a calendar, based on the solar system, that’s even more accurate than the calendar we use today? What does that have to do with the price of tea in China? I’m not sure...

Regardless (or as they say in certain communities, “irregardless”) of who invented graffiti writing, it’s value as an actual form of art has always been highly debatable. There was a time in the early 80's when the fruits in New York’s art community would attempt to patronize graffiti writers by showing off fake graffiti, drawn on canvases, in REAL art galleries.

"Cracka-ass crackas" (as they say in a particular community) put the "kibosh" on that shit with the quickness (though once artists’ entourages started shooting at each other outside shows). But that’s the thing: What use is graffiti anyway if it’s not on a wall or a train somewhere "ILLEGAL". I mean, sure, anyone with a few magic markers can draw his or her name, in some fancy design, on a sheet of paper.

Not to climb on top of my high horse (a horse I sometimes wish I had), but there’s a certain thing called Private Property. When a man buy’s a wall, he likes to think that the wall will remain free of paint, unless he himself decides it could use a coat. By the way, this also happens to be something we like to call "The Law"

Graffiti writing is wrong because it destroys private property & brings down the value of the community (Just ask most homeowners in Los Angeles). Furthermore, there’s nothing particularly "revolutionary" about it if it’s some wall or train in the ghetto.

Therefore, I’m suggesting that from here on out, graffiti writing no longer be considered an element of hip-hop. If people like KRS-One & Busy Bee think it’s such an "integral part of hip-hop", I think we should all spray paint their houses & see how they feel...

Extremely Bored

2010-12-09T13:08:00.000-08:00

Worst Stripper Songs:

"A Whole New World" -From Disney's "Aladdin"

The "Inception" Soundtrack

Hulk Hogan's Wrestling Theme Song "I Am A Real American"

Daughters -John Mayer

Tears In Heaven -Eric Clapton

Did this blog "Jump The Shark"??? YUUUUUUP!!!

(SAAAAAAD FAAAAAACE)

The Art Of ETHERING

2010-12-08T17:28:00.000-08:00

(Picture has NOTHING to do with this post)

In the fascinating world of Hip-Hop, when one person "destroys" another (mainly lyrically), they call it "ETHERING"

*Also known as getting OWNED*

The term was given birth by NAS when he put out a diss track, aimed at Jay-z, by the name of "Ether"

With all the talk lately about people getting ETHERED, I thought it
would be instructive to take a look at some of history’s all-time great "ETHERING's".

Japan ETHERED by the Atom Bomb, 1945:

As recounted in every history book, the United States SONNED THE SHIT out of Japan in 1945 by dropping atomic bombs on the of cities Hiroshima & Nagasaki. The fact that these bombings killed half the country, combined with the fact they arguably weren’t even necessary, makes this one of the gulliest moments in this country’s history. Go USA!

Sharon Tate ETHERED by the Manson Family, 1969:

One summer night in 1969, a gang of dirty hippies showed up to the house of Chinatown director Roman Polanski looking for, if I’m not mistaken, one of the members of the Beach Boys. He was nowhere to be found, but since they had already gone all that way, they took the opportunity to SON THE SHIT out of Polanski’s pregnant wife, actress Sharon Tate, & about 5 or 6 other people who happened to be there.

Space Shuttle Challenged ETHERED by an explosion, 1986:

The fact that the Space Shuttle Challenger was ETHERED live on national television, while children were watching, could very well make it the GEOAT (Greatest ETHERING Of All Time). Among its crew members were New Hampshire school teacher Christa McAuliffe & Ronald E. McNair, the first black man to be ETHERED in space.

Christopher Reeve ETHERED by a horse, 1995:

By the mid 90's, Superman actor Christopher Reeve was hard up for acting jobs and had taken up competing in cross country horse riding events. During a preliminary run for one such event, Reeve was thrown from his horse and ended up landing square on his head, ETHERING THE SHIT OUT of his neck. He was rendered a quadriplegic and died about 10 years later, because the President wouldn’t approve funding for stem cell research.

New Orleans ETHERED by Hurricane Katrina, 2005:

As far as natural disasters go, Hurricane Katrina SONNED THE SHIT out of New Orleans! Where as your typical hurricane knocks the roof off the houses of a few rich white people in Florida, for which they collect insurance compensation, Hurricane Katrina left New Orleans looking like a scene from some third world country.

There's no doubt that there's been so many more ETHERING's that I left out (The Holocaust for example), but those are the good examples that came to mind...

Remembering Lennon

2010-12-08T12:57:00.000-08:00

Hip-Hop Album Of The Year

2010-12-07T18:23:00.000-08:00

2010 was a great year for hip-hop. We've seen some great albums from Drake, Rick Ross, Fat Joe, Kid Cudi, and Nas/Damian Marley, to name a few. But when all is said and done, the two best albums to come out this year were undoubtedly from Kanye West and Eminem.

Both were labeled as comeback albums; Em finally got his swagger back and retuned to the level of MCing and passion that made fans crown him one of the best of all time. Yeezy, stepped up his pen game crazy, and clocked long hours behind the boards to create an album that sounds like nothing else on the shelves.

Both MCs also made a conscious effort to step outside of their comfort zone and work with new collaborators, as well. A rejuvenated Shady finally gave Dre a rest, for the first time in his career, and showed fans what he sounds like over production outside his inner circle like Just Blaze, Boi-1da and Jim Jonsin. 'Ye let his rap heroes and the same people that helped mold and influence his style as an up-and-coming producer, join his Fantasy sessions. Innovators like Pete Rock, the Rza and Q-Tip all flew down to Hawaii to help craft the LP. Although not all of their work made it onto the final cut, their expertise was considered into the decision of the final product.

Despite a few similarities, both albums are very different. One of Recovery's greatest strengths is how it was able to completely take fans by surprise. After the lackluster response of Relapse (an album that basically documented Em in the process of getting his "mojo" back) a lot of listeners were starting to give up on the Detroit talent. Surprise, Surprise, Em was able to quiet all the naysayers, once they finally came around to giving "Recovery" a spin. The "Rap great" actually took heat to critics' complaints about Relapse and gave us what we wanted; an album balancing tracks both playful and personal about an artist we love and know is able to rap circles around most MCs

He ditched the corny first single formula, he ditched the horrible accents and high-pitched voices. He showcased how he was able to flow on beats by other producers besides just himself and the Doc. He spoke about real topics again instead of from the perspective of some fake serial killer alter-ego. He finally gave Proof the dedication that was deserved and above all else, he sounded like he was enjoying himself in the process. Fans wanted Em to win, and he gave us something to stand behind. Sure there's some corny metaphors in there, but the album is down right addictive. When I copped this **** (yes I actually bought it) I had it on repeat for weeks, to the point where I would listen to it all the way through (except for maybe "Won't Back Down" and "Not Afraid"), and go right back and listen to it again from the top. I don't remember the last time I've been able to do that for a new album and that counts for more than you know.

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is great for a whole other set of reasons. Bottom line, Ye paved his own lane with this release. He created a sound so futuristic, unique and modern that it almost doesn't sound like a hip-hop album. He's on some other SHIT and as a music fan, not just a hip-hop fan, a straight music head; it makes me proud and excited. But as far as the album is concerned, I was disappointed with the fact that when it was finally released, I already knew all of the songs except one. And on top of that, I already played out the other joints for the most part. Yes I loved all the bells and whistles that were added, I loved hearing Ross on "Devil in a New Dress". I enjoyed the expected shininess and over the top quality of the finished project, but as the old cliché goes; you only get one chance at a first impression, & that really took away from the experience for me. Another thing that bothered me was the vocal effects on Yeezy's rhymes. It sounds as if he's speaking through a phone, and though it does sound fitting for the songs as a whole, it takes away from his lyrics, which is a shame cause dude is a contender for one of the best on the mic at this current moment. I could also do without some of the contributors. (I'm a huge Rae fan, but was his verse really necessary for "Gorgeous')

I guess you could see which album I'm really leaning towards

Guess Who???

2010-12-06T22:40:00.001-08:00

Well, sort of

Check back in less than 24 hours...

HA!!!

Juan Epstein feat Jay-Z

2010-11-15T20:06:00.000-08:00

GREAT INTERVIEW!!!

DOWNLOAD

Jay ElecLeBronica

2010-11-15T15:35:00.000-08:00

It's Monday, so you know what that means...

SEEKING THE THRONE

2010-11-15T15:13:00.000-08:00

Make sure you guys check out their website and online store;

SEEKING THE THRONE

ONLINE STORE

ODB

2010-11-15T00:00:00.000-08:00

The most ECCENTRIC rapper of all time would have been 42 today...

I still wonder what he would of sounded like after signing with ROCAFELLA

Off To 25...

2010-11-02T16:18:00.001-07:00

"We wasn't suppose to make it past 25/Joke's on you, we still alive"

My Girl's A Republican

2010-11-01T14:15:00.001-07:00

LOOK WHO'S BACK!!!

My New York/Jewish friends back at it again...

KID CUDI

2010-10-29T12:54:00.000-07:00

MAN ON THE MOON II -KID CUDI

NBA 2010-2011

2010-10-25T21:30:00.000-07:00

Dear NBA,

Every time it begins to get a bit colder, the sun starts going down before 7, & I'm reminded how close to death I'm getting; YOU COME ALONG...

My predictions for this year:

*If Lakers don't win it this year, there won't be another banner for a LONG time in LA.

*I'm pulling for the THUNDER this year. I see them getting eliminated in 5-6 games during the Conference Finals

*Although everyone hates them, the Heat should find themselves in the Finals

*Keep an eye out for the FAKE Clipper fans when they make the playoffs

(If Blake Griffin stays healthy)

NBA FINALS: LAKERS/HEAT or LAKERS/BOSTON

Mr. Ranger...

2010-10-25T21:27:00.000-07:00

Don't forget to grab/download Cudi's album November 9th...

Runaway...

2010-10-23T17:50:00.001-07:00

KANYE WEST -RUNAWAY FILM

2010-10-23T16:54:00.001-07:00

MTV Shows

What A Fiasco...

2010-10-21T14:33:00.003-07:00

Dear Lupe Fiasco,

The REAL fans don't care what MTV does or say...

Stop bitching. Make more music.

P.S. You should of left the label. Stupid Muthafucker...

Sincerely,

EVERY FAN

SLAM IT LIKE THE IRON SHEIK

2010-10-18T21:17:00.000-07:00

There have only been a handful of things I've loved in my lifetime (I sound like I'm 50). Hip-Hop being an obvious one, Professional Wrestling is also another. Wrestling captured my attention for over a decade. I don't remember when I started watching wrestling but I do remember when I started hating it. Don't get me wrong, I'll still watch some of the MAJOR PPV's, like WRESTLEMANIA.

While looking at old wrestling matches on YouTube, I noticed the many similarities between wrestling & Hip-Hop. Without going on & on, here are a couple...

LOUD, FLASHY, UGLY CLOTHING:

Most "musicians" & athletes always seem to dress down when in public, not rappers or wrestlers. It seems like these guys don't feel comfortable unless they're wearing, sometimes, ridiculous outfits. Weather it's Kanye's 2006 GRAMMY outfit or Rick Flair's funky coats, both parties LOVE to talk about how much they spent on their outfits...

BEEF:

They both talk shit, think one is better than the other, & eventually get it on (No Homo). Only difference between the two, sometimes rappers get killed...

(Unless you're Owen Hart....)

STUPID NAMES & CHARACTERS:

The picture says it all...

PRODUCER/MANAGER RELATIONSHIP:

Once upon a time in wrestling, mostly everyone had a manager to accompany them to the ring. Also, in few occasions, a rapper would exclusively work with one producer, but that's rare these days.

Side Note: What happened to Paul Bearer???

THE GROUP:

From The Four Horse Men to G-Unit, rappers & wrestlers love being in groups...

NWO would probably the R.O.C. because at the end, EVERYONE was part of the group

Example: NWO got Konnan at one point & Rocafella signed ODB

THEY WERE BOTH BETTER BACK IN THE DAY:

I'm sure that we can all agree that both of these pop culture phenomenon's have seen better days...

Although, Hip-Hop is starting to see a bit of positive progress...

Layla...

2010-10-16T17:44:00.000-07:00

I Spit Hot Fire

2010-10-14T22:18:00.001-07:00

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

2010-10-06T22:01:00.001-07:00

Everyone knows that CLARITY loves the ladies...

Especially for their physical aspects.

(There's no such thing as a "HOT/SMART/FUNNY girl")

In all seriousness;

Ladies, get them checked!

Guys, DONATE!

I Wonder...

2010-09-30T16:51:00.001-07:00

Apologies for not posting something in a while...

I'm pretty sure that all 9 of you that visit this page daily, were waiting to get their CLARITY fix...HA!!

Anyways, this song was sampled on, what is, my FAVORITE Kanye West song...

Love him or hate him, this song is AMAZING!!!

Without writing more rubbish, here it is...

ENJOY!!!

Fucking Dickhead (No Homo)

2010-09-22T12:39:00.000-07:00

New York State Of Mind...

2010-09-16T18:43:00.000-07:00

In today's edition, the samples that make up ONE of the GREATEST Hip-Hop beats to ever be produced...

"Holdin' A M-16, See With A Pen I'm Extreme"

ENJOY!!!

Oh Boy...

2010-09-15T18:53:00.001-07:00

To make you forget that Cam'ron put out a BULLSHIT diss track towards Kanye today, I present to you where Just Blaze sampled the classic; "Oh Boy"

"Look Mami I'm No Good I'm So Hood"

ENJOY!!!

History

2010-09-14T22:09:00.000-07:00

AMAZING...

BREAKBEATS!!!

2010-09-12T15:37:00.000-07:00

No real post today....

"What you want me to do??? I'm sorry" *Jay-Z Voice*

Never Change...

2010-09-11T14:12:00.000-07:00

In honor of Jay-Z's "The Blueprint" 9th year anniversary....

"That’s How It Is Now

That’s How It'll Always Be

I’ll Never Change. This Is Always Me

From The Womb To The Tomb

From Now To My Doom

Drink Army From One Cup Pass It Around The Room"

Enough Said...

ENJOY!!!

Tearz

2010-09-10T14:13:00.000-07:00

Although the album was released in 1993, like most people my age, Wu-Tang took over my dicman player throughout middle school.

If I wrote anymore, I would probably destroy what the album means to us, the Hip-Hop heads....

"Had A Box, 'Boom Boom', The Bass Will Blast"

ENJOY!!!

Dear Fall, Fuck Summer...

2010-09-09T17:00:00.001-07:00

(Ok, Just 1 New Feature)

Have you noticed something??? That's right! Summer is GONE! Seeing that a new season is upon us, I would like to introduce a new daily feature where I dig in a little deeper (No Homo) into Hip-Hop music.

Today, I present to you the original song that was sampled on "Dear Summer". Ironically, this song was on Memphis Bleek's "534" album. But just like in real life, Memphis Bleek can't be found on this song. Instead, the "Big Homie" with the "Big Ass Wallet" (DOUBLE NO HOMO), Jay-Z, took over the entire track.

This was Jay-Z's first song since beginning his brief "retirement". The song was in reference to what Jay-Z described as the time of the year when he would put out a classic album or single every year for 8 straight years, & how he had to metaphorically leave "her", Summer...

"If it ain’t directed directly at me, I don’t respect it"

Enjoy!!!

Final Days

2010-09-06T15:33:00.000-07:00

What We Talking About???

2010-08-30T13:45:00.000-07:00

Who's to say what "real" means these days??? Is Shyne as real as he proclaims? He did do 9 years behind bars for staying true to the code he professes as being "real". In the time he was gone, the rap game changed, & he's returned with several sub-par tracks that have people from the streets to the suburbs hating on him. One might say this is the sacrifice he made for remaining true to his words; others might say he's a fucking idiot. I guess Being real is in the eye of the beholder.

People want to be entertained, first and foremost, & people want the highest quality as well. The guy from your block who really moves weight & really puts in work, may try his hand at rapping & will most likely be terrible. He's authentic, yes, but his rhymes are elementary nonsense. The average consumer isn't going to buy his album when the new Rick Ross, whose content is most likely fabricated, is sitting next to it, because Ross can spit.

More & more rap is being viewed as entertainment and consumers are looking past what's real to what's hot. Rappers are being compared to actors. If that's the case it becomes a matter of who's the best actor. If you're going to lie to me, sell it (Is that you Rick Ross???). Make me believe. I don't want to watch a no-talent actor on-screen; it takes me out of the moment. Music is no different. The majority of rappers feel the need to constantly reinforce how gangster they are in every available forum. That's not gangster. It's like watching an actor who tries too hard to convince the audience.

At the opposite end of the spectrum you have Jay-Z, who rarely, if ever, talks about his past exploits apart from music. Why would he? He's genuine and he knows that. That confidence translates to the audience who believes every word he says on record. When you see De Niro playing Jimmy "The Gent" in Goodfellas, it's natural. He's not acting like a gangster, he is a fucking gangster. There's no need for him to reinstate that via constant discussion of it. I believe what Hov raps about, and even if it is fake, fuck it, because he's the lyrical equivalent of De Niro to me.

50 Cent admits he spends most of his free time in his Connecticut mansion; he doesn't need the potential trouble brought upon by sitting on the stoop in Southside Jamaica, Queens. He's an intelligent, talented individual and an excellent businessman as well--one who's paid his dues in the streets prior to his music career. Does him not smoking weed in the "hood" anymore make him any less real than Lil' Boosie??? Boosie had his entire life & a promising career ahead of him and threw it away in an attempt to remain what is often mistakenly considered "gangster." He's facing the death penalty, whereas 50 Cent is raking in millions of dollars via legitimate business ventures. So, who's real now???

The realest thing an artist can do is be true to himself. When Rick Ross drops the drug kingpin persona for a moment & speaks about the emotion he feels for his father who died of cancer; when Eminem raps about the hardships he faced being a drug addled White trash kid from Detroit with dreams of becoming a rapper; when Jay says, "My nephew died in the car I bought/So I'm under the belief it's partly my fault," they're rapping from the heart. That's real. Unfortunately, we don't see enough of that...

NOBLE ROYALTY

2010-08-28T11:46:00.000-07:00

GET YOUR "NOBLE ROYALTY" T-SHIRT!!!

For More Info, Email:

Nobleroyalty@gmail.com

Your Least Favorite Gets "Iced"

2010-08-23T13:08:00.000-07:00

Call it curiosity or nostalgia but I clicked play on the “Ice Ice Baby” video the other day,

& let the song play in the background while going through different blogs. It’s been years since I actually listened to the record (Front if you want. We all did at some point) but as I heard Vanilla Ice doing his verses, a thought crossed my mind: “You know what; this record isn’t that bad lyrically for the time?”

Now, before you guys start throwing DIGITAL stones at just the mere thought of someone giving Vanilla Ice props, let me continue. I’m not saying he’s anyone’s G.O.A.T. (Greatest Of All Time), but as of 1990 era raps go, Vanilla (or his ghostwriter) held his own....

“All right stop, collaborate and listen

Ice is back with my brand new invention

Something, grabs a hold of me tightly

Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly

Will it ever stop? Yo, I don’t know

Turn off the lights, and I’ll glow

To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal

Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle”

That’s far from lyrical perfection, but if LL Cool J had spit those same lyrics around the same time on a record like “Jingling Baby” or “Eat ‘Em Up L Chill,” would there be an issue?

Regardless of whether he made one of the biggest hip-hop records of all time; the problem most people have with Vanilla Ice is what he represented. Or, better yet, how he tried to represent. The fake “hood” background, baggy Hammer pants, & gelled flattop with the parts on the side trying to wild out where what folks hated on. The song, though, was an undeniable hit. (17 million copies sold!!!)

The more I thought about it, the more I wondered if Vanilla Ice got a raw deal. Sure, Eminem would rap circles around his (& any other MC) ass on a bad day; but it’s unfair to compare a industry-fabricated pop figure like that to some of rap’s greats. That’s when I started to wonder if Ice and his 20-year-old verses from “Ice Ice Baby” could hold up against some of today’s most hated on rappers and their biggest hits. The Soulja Boys, Waka Flocka Flames and Shawty Los of the rap world.

So here are a few choice bars from the aforementioned rappers that I matched up against Vanilla Ice’s rhymes to see whose actually look better on paper. You decide who's verse it better....

FIGHT!!!

Round 1:

Soulja Boy, “Crank That (Soulja Boy)”

“Soulja Boy off in this hoe

Watch me lean and watch me rock

Super man dat hoe

Then watch me crank dat Robocop

Super fresh, now watch me jock

Jocking on them haterz mayn

When I do dat Soulja Boy

I lean to the left and crank dat thang

(Now yuuuah)”

Vanilla Ice, “Ice Ice Baby”

“(Dance) Go rush to the speaker that booms

I’m killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom

(Deadly) When I play a dope melody

Anything less than the best is a felony

Love it or leave it you better gain weight

You better hit bull’s eye the kid don’t play

If there was a problem, yo, I’ll solve it

Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it”

Round 2:

Waka Flocka Flame, “O Let’s Do It”

“One shot, man down

His brains, go ka-pow

Ow, that shit hurt

So don’t fuck around

But that happen often off in Riverdale, Georgia

You gon’ pay the life you live off in Riverdale, Georgia

They gon’ lay yo ass out rock you to sleep like a baby

Brick Squad, shawty, in the ’hood we got them babies

Ever since they killed my nigga Travis start poppin’ pills and actin’ crazy

Ever since they killed my nigga Travis start poppin’ pills and actin’ crazy”

Vanilla Ice, “Ice Ice Baby”

“Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis

Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis

(Jealous) ‘Cause I’m out getting mine

Shay with a gauge and Vanilla with a nine

(Ready) For the chumps on the wall

The chumps acting ill because they’re full of eight balls

Gunshots rang out like a bell

I grabbed my nine all I heard was shells

(Falling) On the concrete real fast

Jumped in my car, slammed on the gas

Bumper to bumper the avenue’s packed

I’m trying to get away before the jackers jack

(Police on the scene) You know what I mean

They passed me up, confronted all the dope fiends

If there was a problem, yo, I’ll solve it

Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it”

Round 3:

Shawty Lo, “Dey Know”

“Shawty Lo — I got flavor

Plus you know, the kid got paper

Like 40, don’t “Save Her”

Bankhead — been pullin capers!

The way you drop woulda thought I had a taser

Call me street, like the razor

Shawty Lo, A-T-L, I’m the MAYOR

Street nigga but my gear be tailored

Every now and then, Shawty might rock gators

Me and that kush — I got acres

Yeahhhhhhh! No more nosey-ass neighbors

Big up — to all my haters!”

Vanilla Ice, “Ice Ice Baby”

“Take heed ’cause I’m a lyrical (Poet)

Miami’s on the scene just in case you didn’t (Know it)

My town that created all the bass sound

Enough to shake, kick holes in the ground

‘Cause my style’s like a chemical (Spill)

Feasible rhymes that you can vision and (Feel)

Conducted and formed

This is a hell of a concept

We make it hype and you want to step (With this)

Shay plays on the fade slice like a ninja

Cut like a razor blade so fast other DJs say, (Damn)

If my rhyme was a drug I’d sell it by the gram

Keep my composure when it’s time to get loose

Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice

If there was a problem, yo, I’ll solve it

Check out the hook while Shay revolves it”

So there you have it, the tale of the tape. Based on the rhymes; do you agree that Vanilla Ice might possibly be better than your least favorite rapper???

Go ahead & think about it....

HA!!!

The NEW Golden Era

2010-08-16T12:48:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wished that Doc Brown was real so you can borrow the Delorean???

("Back To The Future")

Shit, I know I have...

A couple of events I would love to go back and live through would be Kennedy's assassination, the Moon Landing, Beatles rooftop concert, & so many more.

A place in time I recently discovered, while going through old magazines, has made it on to my list...

The Setting:

Harlem, NY, Sept 29, 1998, 17 E. 126th St.

The Photographer: Gordon Parks

The Magazine: XXL's December '98 Issue

The cover paid homage to Art Kane's iconic jazz portrait "A Great Day in Harlem." Similar to the original, Park's version brought in a surplus of rap legends and "up-and-comers" (at the time) to pose in Harlem.

All regions and ages were represented. From Rakim, Fab 5 Freddy, Kool Herc and Debbie Harry (Blondie) to Da Brat, Wyclef, Jermaine Dupri, Luke, E-40, Fat Joe, and Shyheim, among others, were present. The cover ranks as a huge milestone in hip-hop history. A simple but powerful example of MCs from all over the U.S. putting aside their egos to come together to pay homage to the culture's pioneers and acknowledging the passing of the torch.

A New Golden Age of hip-hop began.

Forgive me for sounding a bit "controversial", but I'm here to say that we are entering another "Golden Age"

Most sources define a golden age as "a time period when some activity or skill was at its peak."

As I sat in front of my iTunes and scanned through the songs on my playlist's (mostly illegally downloaded), I can honestly say that we are entering into a special time in hip-hop. Lyricism is cool again!!! Songs are heartfelt & actually strike emotions, while painting a visual story. Consistency is at its strongest. The surge of good quality music out is amazing. The amount of young and talented artists is overwhelming. That nostalgic atmosphere people would feel when listening to good music is slowly starting to come back. The diversity in hip-hop is at its peak.

Some said the West Coast couldn't come with the rhyme, but listen to EVIDENCE, Nipsey Hussle, Wiz Khalifa, Dom Kennedy, Kendrick Lamar, Pac Div, Fashawn and Jay Rock and tell me they can't flow. Some said the South killed hip hop...HOLD IT THERE! Play a track by J. Cole, Jay Electronica, Curren$y, or B.o.B. and you tell me they're not lyrical. If you have to ask who's in the Midwest, then you've never heard of Big Sean, Kid Cudi, Freddie Gibbs, & The Cool Kids. A lot of people say the reason why "hip-hop is dead" is because the New York rap scene is dead. How can anyone say that when there's Mickey Factz, Joell Ortiz, Papoose, Vado and Red Cafe holding their own??? We can't forget about hip-hop's international appeal either. Just listen to the radio and "hip-hop's rookie of the year" is a kid named Drake from Toronto.

(Or did you forget that Canada is another country???)

C'mon, son!!! Enough said...

That's just the tip of the iceberg, though. What about Slaughterhouse, Rick Ross, Lupe Fiasco, Wale, Asher Roth, Saigon, Bun B, dead prez, Cam'ron, Strong Arm steady, 50 Cent (We can argue about him all day but you HAVE to throw his name in), Talib Kweli, The Roots...

WHOOOOO!!! *Rick Flare voice*

I had to catch my breath...

...Gucci Mane, Tech N9ne, Waka Flocka Flame, Roscoe Dash, Jae Millz, Tyga, Nicki Minaj, Yelawolf, Travis McCoy, Big Boi, David Banner, and many more have all made quality songs in just a three-month span.

Oh, did I forget to say that "Dipset" is back!!???

Just look at some of the albums that dropped this summer: Drake's "Thank Me Later", Rick Ross's "Teflon Don", EMINEM's "Recovery", Fat Joe's "The Darkside, Vol. 1" & Bun B's "Trill O.G". (5 MICS people!!!)

These are all quality albums that received high praises throughout the hip-hop community. When was the last time something like that happen in one summer?

The crazy thing is the Trinity of hip-hop, the Lebron, Wade, & Bosh of "the league" if you will (you decide which one is who): Lil Wayne, Jay-Z, & Kanye West have only one single out between them. Yeezy's "Power", made sure you start anticipating his new album. Jay-Z annihilated "Light Up" and "Free Mason," Kanye also digested "Live Free, Die Young," and Weezy mutilated "Light Up (Remix)" from his jail cell & on the phone, of course...

Just look at what's happening before our eyes right now. Really think about the state of hip-hop at this very moment, sit down and ask yourself; How much new music have I downloaded in the last three months??? Look at your iTunes recently added section & see how many different artists from different regions you have. We all know the radio is not the best place to discover music, but quite frankly, it's the best it's ever been in years...

(May I remind you; Black Eyed Peas aren't being played every 20 minutes, nowadays)

A hip-hop fan can actually drive a long distance & keep the radio on.

I know, I know, they play Drake & Nicki Minaj songs at least three times every half our, but when haven't they played certain songs over & over??? I remember a couple years ago, you could switch between radio stations & they'd be playing the same song at the same time, at any given time of day. It was so bad that you actual knew their lineup because they played the same fucking songs that much!

Do you remember when all a person needed is a song with bass & catchy dance and you got a record deal???

Or, how we were playing ringtones as singles???

"This is why I'm Hot. This is why I'm hot" I'm looking at you MIMS...

Now I can actually give my iPod a rest, turn on the radio, & have fun without worrying about having to "crank" anything or "Superman" a hoe...

(Can't look at you Soulja Boy since NOBODY has seen you in months)

By the way, does anyone remember how to do the "Chicken Noodle Soup" dance??? If so, ask your mother to shoot you in the face...

Sorry about that, I almost lost my train of thought...

Back to my point;

This is a beautiful time in music as talent is everywhere, both new & old. People are making records worthy of the repeat button. Artists are showing growth in their craft & their music for every feeling, emotion, or state of mind available: Hardcore, smooth, thought provoking, whatever you're feeling, they're here, you just got to look...

And it's not even that hard.

Maybe we can go back 17 E. 126th St in Harlem & have another cover of today's MC's. We are entering a special time in hip-hop, so please keep your ears & eyes open because, in my best Drizzy voice:

"Oh, yeah, we in this bitch!!!"

Read The Sign

2010-08-14T20:02:00.000-07:00

Feelings...

2010-08-02T21:15:00.001-07:00

This feels great.

8 miles of hiking in 3 hours. A bit over 50 pounds lost in over a month. Gaining more stamina every single day

This is only the beginning though.

But damn, this feels great...

- Posted using my iPhone

Thursday. Almost Done...

2010-07-29T23:00:00.000-07:00

Hello Readers,

(I use that term loosely)

Skipped out on my daily 8 mile hike to drop off the parents at LAX today...

Highlight of my day was writing this joke;

"I'm pretty sure Mariah Carey once worked at a airport cause she's pretty good at carrying baggage. Just ask Nick Cannon's career..."

Too easy hu???

Anyways. Knocked out another post with 1 hour to spare in the day....

HA!!!

Wednesday

2010-07-28T22:36:00.001-07:00

This Counts As A Post...HA!!!

Words For Thought

2010-07-27T21:08:00.000-07:00

Today's Short Thought List:

-Why haven't I ever heard of or been to a midget's funeral??

Are they THAT magical and never die???

-When I die, I want a white person to write my eulogy and biography

My friends have horrible grammar

-If God was real (and he's not), what would he say to me???

He would probably just look at me and do the "KANYE SHRUG"

**********

Lazy???

Probably.

I just got back from Griffith Park. What did you expect???

HA!!!

THE SECOND COMING

2010-07-26T22:05:00.000-07:00

Hello!!!

How have you guys been???

Miss me yet???

No???

Are you sure???

Ok, I believe you...

Anyways:

I'm sorry that I haven't payed much attention to what started it all. Just like plenty of famous people, I have ignored my roots. But since I'm not famous, FUCK ALL OF YOU!!!

I'm only messing.

Although I haven't payed much attention to all 5 of you who read this (And since 4 of you only read out of pity), I'm ready to begin writing a daily post again. Weather it be my constant bitching of the way people tend to ANNOY me or just about people who ANNOY me (that's mainly the recurring subject), I'm going to do my best to post something new everyday...

It's not easy coming up with something new to write about everyday...

Writers block is REAL!!!

(It took me 2 weeks to write THIS)

Big thanks to those who have been reading my previous post's and to those who have been tuning back in, in hope of finding a new post...

And so...

CLARITY BLOG IS BACK!!!

(We'll see how long this run will last)

But hey!

Even "SEINFELD" didn't last forever...

(How dare I compare this RUBBISH with the BEST SHOW EVER!!!)

Will It Be A G.O.O.D. Day???

2010-07-13T15:02:00.000-07:00

Have You Heard The News???? In about two months Kanye West, Big Sean, KiD CuDi and Consequence will attempt to take over the music world, for at least 24 hours, with their planned “G.O.O.D. Music Day,” where each respective artist's albums are set to drop. Sounds great, right??? Four albums by four artists who belong to one of the most critically acclaimed record labels out, all gearing up to drop. Separately. On the same day.

There are so many things wrong with that picture I don’t even know where to begin.

While not exactly original it is a pretty good publicity/promotional/”whatever rappers do to sell records nowadays” stunt to catch the public eye, and it is a great way to introduce more people to the youngest and most obscure of the bunch, Big Sean. It could also put Consequence back into a spotlight that’s dimmed for damn near everything he’s done since “Stressed Out.”

(That’s not a shot at all, and I actually like Consequence’s music. But let’s be real: a few notable singles here and there combined with selling less than 10,000 copies of your decade-late debut isn’t exactly “successful” in my eyes)

The planned album barrage could also prove, if successful, to critics that Kanye’s G.O.O.D. Music is more than just the typical vanity label most artists start when they taste a modicum of success, despite already having a couple of gold- and platinum-selling releases under it’s belt. At this point it’s usurped Roc-A-Fella’s crown since that company went to shit a few years ago. Go ahead and cop that Pilot Talk from Curren$y on the newly relaunched Roc-A-Fella Records, though. I guarantee you it’s doper than all of Memphis Bleek’s Roc-A-releases combined. But I’m straying from the point.

While G.O.O.D. Music Day sounds good on paper, I wouldn’t be surprised if the plan falls through faster than Cleveland Cavaliers stock did. I can already see some of the artists ending up changing their own release date due to their album “not being finished,” “not having enough hype” or any other excuse these artist use these days. Besides, most albums almost always leak roughly one week before their target drop date; meaning, while G.O.O.D. Music Day is scheduled to go down September 14th, F.R.E.E. Music Day is set to flood the e-waves around September 6th or so (guess which one I’m excited for more). Hardly anybody is going to buy all four albums, much less all four at the same time. Sure, Kanye and CuDi will do their numbers, but Consequence and Big Sean will likely be the low ballers in this go-round. If anything, I’d suggest that they package those two with Kanye and CuDi’s respective albums, or have all four packaged together as one “deluxe edition” deal.

G.O.O.D. Music Day sounds remarkable on paper, but my inner Hip-Hop should just believes it’s not going to be successful. Nelly may have found success when he released the equally shitty Sweat and Suit on the same day, but that was six years ago when people were still buying CDs and using Morpheus and WinMX to swack music. Now that virtually everything is digital, few folks will actually want to venture outside of their basements to purchase even one album. That can’t bode well for Kanye’s crew. Plus, I’m more gassed for Pusha T of Clipse dropping his solo mixtape that day than I am for Big Sean’s album, and Pusha’s is going to be free on purpose.

In the end: Kanye and Cudi will sell unlike the other two guys on the label, that nobody really cares about...

HA!!!

Stay Cool

2010-07-07T21:49:00.001-07:00

Just Sing My Shit...

Anyways #1: Biggest Loser

I'm currently on track to completing a goal I set at the beginning of the year

No, I'm not closer to finally get Kim Kardashian into bed with me

(Oh Kim, just give me a chance. I know I can make you feel like a REAL woman)

Ummm.....

Where was I???

Oh yea!

I am currently closer to my ideal weight. Yes I might sound like woman that is obsessed on getting back into her wedding dress, but this is easier than I thought. Walking up Griffith Park and playing basketball ball, nearly everyday, has done miracles!

(Ok, NO HOMO)

It might not sound much to you BEAUTIFUL people out in the Internet world, but I've lost about 40 pounds in the last month

(Ladies, the answer is Yes; I am available)

Anyways #2: Go Away!

Is it me or do people become a bit more pathetic every day???

If it's not the homeless man asking me for a dollar that he'll probably end up buying heroin with, it's a stupid kid asking me for a donation towards his Disneyland trip. This has happened to me before; A high school student comes up to me, gives me this sob story about how he's under privileged and blah blah blah.

It's simple: If you can't afford it, why even think about it???

Of course you're entitled to "TRY", but "TRYING" includes begging me to pity you. Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of pity. But I'm only a fan when pity leads to me having sex with a woman. Other than that, pity is just embarrassing

Anyways #3: Bron Bron

By this time tomorrow, the world will know where King James will be playing in the years to come

I really hope he ends up with the Knicks...

(What! No jokes or sarcastic remarks????)

NO!

Final Thoughts: (____)

NONE

Wait; Does Kim Kardashian know I'm obsessed with her???

And it's not the bad type of "obsessesion". It's the good type. It's the type where her and I meet, I make her laugh, and then she realizes that I am THE ONE....

By the way; If she's ever found dead inside a dumpster, It wasn't me. I would never...

(I hope readers understand that I'm kidding)

HA!!!

Don't Label It

2010-06-30T14:01:00.000-07:00

I've debated with people on Twitter and Facebook over the definition of "Hip-Hop". Like Rock & Roll, Hip-Hop has branched out to different levels but always keeping a trace of it's origin.

Truth Be Told; We all like at least one ignorant rap song. As much as I’m entranced by the everyman lyrics of an artist whose songs I can relate to, I can also appreciate some "nignorant" battle calls backed by some bass-heavy, trunk-rattling backdrop and accompanied by some random woman with low morals and high heels in its music video.

Would Hip-Hop be “better” if there was only positive music? Maybe. But the average human mind isn’t exactly pure to begin with. While some of us would die for our own mothers, daughters or sisters, in the same breath we’ll lust after some exaggeratedly shaped woman we see on the street. Some of us may never join a gang or run a drug emporium, but we’ll enjoy the hell out of crack-infused lyrical assaults. For every Talib Kweli lyric praising the woman, there's an equal scathing verse about sexually dominating them as well. Back when I used to go to church, I found myself thinking about having sex with one of the fellow female attendees more than I should have been. And I know I’m not the only one who’s done that.

There is an over emphasis on extreme violence, rampant drug use and the misogynistic within the communities in today’s mass-promoted music. But I know I’m not the only one who can recite “Ain’t No Fun (If The Homies Can’t Have None)” as if it were the final question in a National Spelling Bee. Rather than trying to fight it with ass-backward online rants, more people should accept it and try to work on incorporating more humane music into their works.

I mean, the Internets can’t work forever. Or can it?

Ignorant rap is about as commonplace in hip hop as there are grease-laden fried chicken fast food spots in the hood. Rather than vilify all of them, so-called purists should at least acknowledge that play their own respective position in rap, albeit poorly at times. If Patti LaBelle of all people can say she likes the BET Uncut classic from Black Jesus, the effervescent “What That Thang Smell Like,” then somehow that brand of ignorant fuckery of the lowest common denominator is working...

Weather it's coming form the "Dirty South", east/west coast, or your fucking basement, one thing is true; At The End Of The Day, It's "Hip-Hop"

Let It Grow

2010-06-25T01:15:00.000-07:00

There are many perks of being a 24 year old living in Los Angeles, but being a male Hispanic/Latino really isn't one of them. If it's not the looks I get while I walking on Rodeo Drive, it's the constant harassment by the LAPD

(By the way, I'm not about to write an entire piece about being "OPPRESSED". I'll leave that to the pussies who think they're "Freedom Fighters" or think that one person can make a difference. Get it through your head hippie, Lennon's "Bed Peace" didn't stop the war and McCartney/Wonder's "Ebony and Ivory" didn't get rid of racism)

Ummm, I had a point; Oh yea!

For the past 3 months, I've let my hair grow!!!

I decided to do this after I figured out that walking around with a "nearly bald" head, isn't "nearly smart". But running around the city of angels with a decent set of hair attracts less cops while I'm driving under the influence. Other than that, there is no advantage.

Joking aside, I am also letting it grow long enough to eventually donate my hair to a child with cancer who's in need of a wig. Not only will it balance out my karma, it's also a great anecdote to tell a girl at a bar/club.

You best believe that she'll be giving me her number by the end of the night. Shit, I might even get more than that.

I'm Just Too Fucking Smart...HA!!!

"Under Pressure" Is "Underwhelming"

2010-06-22T13:59:00.000-07:00

Not going to lie; “Under Pressure” sucks balls. Its unfinished nature sucks. Dr. Dre’s doofy, Wyclef Jean-style “Sak Pase” line sucks. Jay-Z’s wanna be DRAKE rapping sucks. That hip-house beat sucks. Hell, even those tagged, annoying screams from NMC sucks.

The fucking thing sucks.

What really sucks though, is that underwhelming feeling the hip-hop community collectively experienced upon first listening to the track. I mean, this was supposed to be the gateway song to the album that was years in the making. The album Dr. Dre started talking about back when I was in a Freshman in High School. From that long-scrapped “concept album” about a hitman, that was suppose to be narrated by Denzel Washington (I'm dead seriously too!), to the time he vowed that – after he was sucker-punched at the VIBE Awards six years ago – it would come out. Then tracks that were supposedly slated for the album would pop up on other rapster’s albums. Reference tracks got leaked, with Ludacris and T.I. essentially rapping what were to be Dre’s verses. There’s even a Dr. Pepper commercial with the guy. Despite it all, we get expensive headphones, really expensive laptops and more expensive headphones with Lady Gaga and Diddy. And not one DAMN GOOD SONG.

Until yesterday afternoon.

After the years of waiting, this is what we get in return? A hip hop version of Benny Benassi’s “Satisfaction”??? I’ve shitted out much harder stuff than “Under Pressure" and they were far less painful on my bowels. If there was any shred of buzz for Detox, it may have subsequently been ethered with the release of this track.

However, I saw this coming (No Homo). Dr. Dre’s work with Jay-Z has never been groundbreaking, unless it was “The Watcher II” and “Watch Me.” But “The Watcher II” was a rehashed beat of the original, while Irv Gotti of all people produced “Watch Me.” I never understood how two of the most influential minds in rap can’t come together to simply make one good song and when they do either the beat or the raps falters. In the case of “Under Pressure,” it’s both. Maybe it’s an age or pride thing.

Whatever the case is, the anti-climactic release of “Under Pressure” has left a few scratching their heads, some questioning and many let downs. Add to the fuckery that happened in New York a few days ago (all of that for a free Hanson concert? Geeez!!!), and it appears that the only person in Hip-Hop having a good week is EMINEM. I hate to say this, but perhaps Detox should stay vaulted for a little bit longer.

Needless to say, I hope "Under Pressure” doesn't get played anywhere but my iTunes...

FYI: I was going to write about the ANTI-RAPE condom, but felt weird posting it right after "My First Father's Day" picture post...HA!!!

My First Father's Day...

2010-06-20T20:15:00.000-07:00

To those who are at least attempting to be there, enjoy your day...

2010 NBA CHAMPS...

2010-06-17T23:55:00.000-07:00

On To The Next One...

Muthafucker We Rolling...

2010-06-16T14:18:00.000-07:00

I’m pretty sure I've seen this before. A long time ago when Jay-Z first attepmted to retire (and eventually aborted). Back when people wondered if Roc-A-Fella could fully sustain ground with the loss of its number-one numbers runner (as he and DJ Clue were the only acts to have gone platinum). A time where everybody from Beanie Sigel to the Young Gunz were only going gold or worse.

Enter Kanye West, a brash/cocky producer-on-the-mic and his debut The College Dropout. A complete left turn from the normal style of music that came from Roc artists. It was critically acclaimed, widely hailed, sold a lot of records, launched his career into the stratosphere, etcetera, etcetera.

The reason I bring this up is because over the past week or so critics have essentially done the same thing with Drake, and his now-leaked "Thank Me Later" album. Citing everything from the lack of informality that we're use to with Cash Money artist, it brings back memories. So the question remains: is Drake’s debut, Thank Me Later, the 2010 version of Kanye’s debut, The College Dropout?

In a way it’s set up to be. Similar to Roc-A-Fella when they went on that fire sale and grabbed everybody from Ol’ Dirty Bastard to Posh Spice (I mean really? Posh Spice? What, was Scary Spice too busy jerking off the Donkey from Shrek, to be reached?). Cash Money started signing up everything within eyesight. From Boo & Gotti to Mack 10, just to remain relevant after Mannie Fresh and Juvenile bounced over money issues. Turk went to prison and BG had a teenage love affair with sour diesel. Aubrey’s presence gives Young Money its best chance at proving that it’s not a glorified tax write-off when Wayne created it a few years ago.

As such, the content on TML is nothing like any other Cash Money release, eschewing the traditional swag raps and gun talk for something that’s at the very least quasi-humane and relatable, if not too sherbet-soft. I mean, at the very least, I can relate to some of the stuff Drake says. Which is more than I could say for the entire Baller Blockin’ movie.

However, it could be that it won’t be embraced in the same manner Kanye’s debut album was six years ago. With Wayne taking a federally-sponsored vacation, and virtually no other artist with a smidgen of noticeable buzz these days, Drake’s album could be perhaps receiving this kind of attention because quite frankly there’s really nothing else going on in music that’s even moderately intriguing these days.

Perhaps my tin foil hat is on a little too tight and I’m just looking too deep into this matter, but I swear I’ve seen the very same thing happen six years ago. Except this time I actually didn’t drive in the rain to my nearest Best Buy to buy the album. Hell, nowadays I wouldn't even go buy an album if it was nice and bright outside. But that tale is for another time....

"Little L"

2010-06-14T23:52:00.001-07:00

Should I apologize to those who wanted a real update???

Maybe, but I probably won't...

2010 FIFA WORLD CUP

2010-06-11T01:10:00.000-07:00

Click on the image above to check out my predictions for this World Cup. In the near future, we will see if I'm right or wrong...

LET'S GO ENGLAND!!!

Let's Keep It Real

2010-06-07T02:44:00.000-07:00

Eric & Jeff Rosenthal run the funniest Hip-Hop sketch comedy website. With their weekly attempt to piss off your favorite rapper or DJ, they might make you have a good laugh. They've been described as; "If Larry David had 2 kids and they listened to hip hop, you have the Rosenthal's"

After emailing them 36 times in just 1 day, they decided to help the kid, with nothing good to say, out...

CLARITY: First off, I want to thank you guys for taking time to talk to a nobody. I first met you guys through Elliott Wilson and later co-wrote a sketch with Eric. Where is my royalty check???

Eric: You're welcome. We once talked to Lil Boosie, that's a real nobody. About your cut, we spent it on DEF JAM stock

CLARITY: Oh, Thanks! So tell me, where does the comedy come from?

Jeff: Honestly. I don't know. When we first came up with the idea of Hip Hop sketch comedy, we were like "Hey, nobody is really doing this"

Eric: Yea. I mean, it's not easy. Jeff and I were always making each other laugh with a joke here and there

CLARITY: I see. Who came up with the idea to film it and place it on the web?

Eric: Jeff will say it was his idea and I'll say it was my idea. When the truth is, our roommate, who's also a cat, gave us the idea. Yes, our cat talks

Jeff: I'm pretty sure we were both extremely high after listening to Snoop Dogg's album. That's how we were able to communicate with our cat

Eric: Exactly! We smoked a lot that night. We do everything rappers tend to do. I once drank a whole Cyroc bottle, slapped a hoe, and pretended to have street cred

CLARITY: I remember I once sent you guys a joke that went something like "Brandy has more street cred than most rappers since she actually killed someone" and you guys wrote back "Too soon"

Jeff & Eric: (Laugh) Yea.

CLARITY: Has there ever been a point, while writing a sketch, where you guys might say to one another "Hmmm, maybe we shouldn't say that"???

Jeff: Of course. I think every "comedian" has a limit of how far he or she goes with a joke. We're not going to make fun of a rapper who has passed away

Eric: Yea, we're not out to offend people. I believe that, once you've offended your audience, the joke is no longer funny. Unless that's your "shtick". Other than that, you just make yourself come off as a jerk

CLARITY: Very true. Rumor is that you're now working on a show with MTV, how true is that???

Jeff: Our lawyers have advised us not to talk about that. But yes, we are working with MTV at the moment

Eric: Good going Jeff, now MTV is only going to pay us $100 instead of $200

CLARITY: Without saying any names, only initials, has there been any rapper to come up to you guys and say "Hey, that sketch wasn't funny"???

Eric: I wish! That would mean there's someone else other than you watching our episodes

Jeff: (Sarcastically) Ja Rule once emailed and begged me to make a sketch about him since he's fallen off the radar

CLARITY: Did you respond???

Jeff: Labeled it SPAM as soon as I saw who it was from

Eric: Poor guy

CLARITY: Last question fellas...

Eric: Thank god, I'm missing out on "Basketball Wives"

Jeff: That's right! I heard it was a good episode this week!

CLARITY: Between the two of you, who's funnier???

Jeff: Me

Eric: Our Cat

CLARITY: I should of interviewed the cat instead...

Eric: Yea, too bad he's outside working out

Jeff: He works out with 50 Cent's cat

CLARITY: Thank you guys for the time and good luck on future projects. Hope to see a new episode soon...

Jeff: We're planning to retire and come back after 3 months like Jay-Z

Eric: It's called going on vacation. Except we won't be on a big boat with Beyonce...

Check out ITSTHEREAL

YN Speaks...

2010-06-04T00:41:00.000-07:00

Elliott Wilson, king of All Hip Hop Media, is back!!!

(Well, he's been back for over a year)

The former editor of every successful Hip-Hop magazine, took time off his busy schedule (Of sitting in front of a laptop and answering his cellphone) to answer a question I asked him 3 weeks ago....

CLARITY: What would be your advice for anyone trying to come up in the game as a writer, rapper, etc???

Elliott Wilson: Quit! (Laughs) Nah. Study the game. You need to have such a great balance of confidence and humility, it's hard at the end of the day. You have to think you're the shit but you have to constantly understand the position that you're in, your starting point. As dope as you think you are, you're gonna have to reach a higher level. The only way you're going to get to a higher level is by collaborating with other people. You're not going to do it by yourself. You have to learn how to balance those things. I think that I would tell anybody to study the game, study everybody, read old "Elliott" stuff. Get to know who's in the game and what the surroundings are. Visualize what you want to do and work really hard. Money isn't going to come right away. I think it's about focusing on your craft, working really hard, and taking advantage of the opportunities that are presented to you. That's the bottom line, work ethic takes you a long way at the end of the day. I think people want to leave their mark and be in be impactful but to truly be impactful, you have to continually work hard. I never wanted to make an impact just once, I want to keep making an impact. That's some of the advice I would give them. I, I think it's a balance of learning and developing your unique approach; What makes you different??? What makes you distinctive??? There is a lot of openings as we speak. There's still room for the greatest DJ in Hip-Hop, there's still room for a better editor than me, there's still room for a better website than RapRadar. Or a better magazine than XXL, you know? There's still so much room. So don't act like there's so much out there. There's still a lane, you make your own lane. But that comes from being OF the system, you can't act above it. I think it's hard to balance it out. There's kids with a lot of confidence that sometimes it's difficult, they don't understand. Especially in the dynamic with me, it's like, they admire me so much that they view me as this brash/combative person that their love for me goes away so fast that they want to suddenly compete with me right away. It's about making those connections, it's about being dependable, showing up on time, and out working everybody. It's about the big picture. It's funny cause I never viewed it that way but it is about the big picture at the end of the day. I always felt like "It's all about now and winning now". But ultimately it comes down to the bigger scope of things. At the end of the day, I want to be the best and so should you...

CLARITY: After waiting 3 weeks for this interview, I want to thank you. Don't you wish every interview you had was just one question???

Elliott Wilson: (Laughs) Yea, too bad you just made it two questions

CLARITY: And with that, Thank you...

Elliott Wilson: You're welcome. Stop bothering me now (Laughs)

Check out RapRadar for the latest Hip-Hop music, news, and gossip...

You Can Thank Him Now...

2010-06-02T18:28:00.000-07:00

For the months of April and May, I've been writing on my Twitter and Facebook pages;

"This Might Sound Like Such A 2004 Thing To Say, But Hip-Hop Is Pretty Exciting Right Now"

With tracks by Eminem and Kanye leaking recently, it was shaping out to be a decent Summer for Hip-Hop. Until...

After downloading and listening to Drake's "THANK ME LATER" last night (6/1/10), I asked myself a VERY important question;

Did Drake Just Single Handedly Save Hip-Hop???

Before answering my own question, I had to go back and give the album an in depth listen. Listening to the album a 3rd and 4th time didn't change my overall opinion; CLASSIC

Drake made an album where, if you're a Hip-Hop aficionado, you weren't going to be disappointed. He makes an album where his lyrics compliment every beat beautifully. An album that you can play on your iPod, but then again blast in your ride.

Maybe I'm looking to much into this album, but I enjoyed it. Drake lives up to the hype we put on him after releasing his first "So Far Gone"

With Eminem and Kanye West dropping albums this summer, Hip-Hop seems to be in good hands...

Nas assured us it was dead, Lil Wayne made it see a million, but Drake just made sure it stays healthy for the years to come...

The Kat Got 'Chris Browned'

2010-06-01T17:58:00.000-07:00

The last time I nearly strangled a woman, I was getting off the ground after being kicked off a 10 foot ladder. Not only was that the last time, I'm pretty sure it was the first time that I've ever thought about grabbing a box cutter and rearranging a girl's face...

(Don't Worry Ladies, Mom Taught Me Well)

Not that I don't believe in using force against a woman, WHEN NECESSARY, but when footage of Kat Stacks getting slapped around by Fabolous's brother surfaced, I thought to myself; She kinda deserved it. I mean, if a girl can sock out Charles Hamilton for acting like an asshole, why can't Kat Stacks get slapped for being who she is??? Don't get me wrong, no REAL woman deserves to get abused in any way, but then again, Ms. Stacks in not your girl next door

(Unless you live next to the dirtiest whore house ever established)

I don’t condone what happened to Kat Stacks, yet I understand. I’m surely not coming to her defense since her actions caused the whole situation. Perhaps, now she’ll realize that not only is she not untouchable, there will be an equally negative reaction to every negative action she’s done. Once again, I’m not saying she should have been hit, but at the very least be glad she didn’t catch something worse than that

(Even if Elliott Wilson disagrees with me...HA!!!)

New York City

2010-05-28T14:36:00.000-07:00

A Year Ago I Was Chilling In NYC

Stable

2010-05-27T21:33:00.000-07:00

Wanted to apologize to everyone (All 4 of you) who's been visiting the blog in hope of finding a new post to read (Run on sentence???). I was EXTREMELY sick the past 4 days but woke up feeling much better today. No, I don't have anything serious, just a really bad flu

(Or I had SARS)

I should be back next week or maybe even tomorrow with something new to post, most likely Monday....

Until then, enjoy these pics of Jay-Z and Jack White in the studio:

ROCK THE BELLS 2010

2010-05-24T21:23:00.000-07:00

Lazy Sunday...

2010-05-23T11:44:00.002-07:00

When you wake up with a massive headache, sore throat, and you're spitting out blood; You probably had a good time

(Either that or you got your ass kicked)

HA!!!

HOT OFF THE PRESSES

2010-05-22T15:46:00.000-07:00

COMING SOON TO A NEIGHBORHOOD NEAR YOU...

Maybe Tomorrow...

2010-05-20T19:40:00.000-07:00

As you and I continue to wait on what was expected to be " The Best Rap Album Of All Time", Dr. Dre continues to tease us with the same line he's been using the past 10 years; "Detox Is Coming" (PAUSE).

I put together a list of things I thought we would of never seen before "Detox":

1. A Black President

2. The Death Of Michael Jackson

3. Suge Knight Get Knocked The Fuck Out By A Barber

4. Shyne

5. Another LL Cool J Album (He Even Had A Mixtape Last Year)

6. The Rise/Downfall/And Semi Rise Of Britney Spears

7. Black Eyed Peas Sell Out (They Were Sick In 1998)

8. Eve (Again)

I think that like every Hip-Hop head out there, I give up. Even if he does go on ESPN with his over priced headphones claiming that he has a CLASSIC song with Jay-Z, I no longer care.

I'm pretty sure we have a better chance of NAS making a good album again, than "Detox" hitting the shelves this summer

Sorry Doc...

Focus On The Road

2010-05-19T14:34:00.000-07:00

Let’s keep it real:

If you buy albums these days, you either don’t know how to find the latest DepositFile link for it, downloaded the album and still felt the need to cop a hard copy, or still use a Discman with the cassette adapter in your car. Whatever your reason, chances are that your purchase is not going to fill that artists’ pockets after the costs of the album’s actual production effectively take any and every lucrative aspect of it from the rapper.

For artists to still complain that money is getting taken out of their pockets each time their album is showcased on your favorite messageboard is preposterous. If the person swacked it online, they weren’t going to buy the album in the first place. Premature leaks and cyber-bootlegging are about as commonplace as overpriced alcohol and digital cameras at a show. Every rapper faces it, most can’t find ways to overcome it, but all still take the time out of their so-called busy schedules to bitch about it.

Rappers not moving units shouldn’t throw the blame on the cheapskates of the hip hop world. Instead, more should use these on-the-surface hindrances to their advantage. During promotional interviews, Jay-Z seemed almost ecstatic when The Blueprint 3 leaked a week prior to its release, claiming that he enjoys it when people get to listen to it before actually buying it.

I think Shawn’s losing it a little with that statement.

(But then again, he doesn't need any more money)

Perhaps the most lucrative aspect of hip hop is the live show. Regardless of the too-short guest lists and Flip Cam footage that permeates throughout the Internets, there’s really no way to pilfer the live performance (unless you’re Carlos Mencia). After attending Reflection Eternal mini-show yesterday and having "Rock The Bells" right around the corner, I’ve realized that nothing really compares to the energy of a well-executed concert. While labels have caught on to that and will only offer 360 deals that will effectively rape even the signee’s mother, touring is still essentially the best way of keeping those mortgage payments in check for rappers, particularly when their album doesn’t sell. For example, last year’s XXL's Freshmen, none of their respective albums – or at least those that actually came out with an album – cracked the gold plateau, yet they’ve managed to stay relevant by being on the road like Bob Dylan ever since.

(Except Ace Hood. Then again, nobody really cared about him in the first place)

Rapster community, just do us listeners all a favor and find other ways to make money. Barking at the world that leaks are killing your financial status will only make us continue to not buy your stuff. That’s word to the four albums I’ve loaded into the iPhone in the past 24 hours already

(Sorry Kweli, B.O.B, Method Man and The Roots)

Reflection Eternal

2010-05-18T21:38:00.000-07:00

Kweli, Hi-Tek, Fat Beats...WORD!!!

I'm The Newest Member...

2010-05-17T00:43:00.000-07:00

I once had morals. I once took into consideration how others felt. Sometimes, I even put myself in their shoes.

Those days are over. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm happy to announce that I am officially a "Back Door Man"

If you're familiar with "The Doors" and their song "Back Door Man", you'll know what I'm talking about.

Do I feel bad about it??? Of course not!!!

Like one of my friends pointed out:

"This is the life we choose, the life we lead. And there is only one guarantee: none of us will see heaven"

But who's to say that this hasn't happened to me before??? I mean, I don't know what went on when I wasn't around...

What gives me the right to do this??? Shit, if they let me, then why not?

Point is, you can call me a "Back Door Man"

HA!!!

BREAKING NEWS!!!

2010-05-14T16:20:00.000-07:00

FINALLY!!!!

It's Friday!!!

2010-05-14T14:22:00.001-07:00

Enjoy Your Weekend....

THE POPE IS A P.I.M.P.

2010-05-10T20:56:00.000-07:00

Imagine This Scenario:

You run an organization, witch is in the business of killing and stealing. One the guys that works for you gets caught killing and stealing. Instead of going to jail or getting the death penalty, you get to send him to work in another in another town, where he can kill and steal some more. And you keep on doing that over and over again with a ton of guys who work for you, until finally, somebody in one of these victimized towns decides to stand up and say "Hey! Who the hell told these guys they can come in here to kill and steal??" Then, and only then, you submit to basic laws of human kind and agree to prosecute the guys who work for you and turn them into the authorities.

Sound like the Mafia doesn't it???

It isn't. The Mafia would LOVE to have that business plan. The very same business plan the Catholic Church has been using for hundreds of years. Priest have been allowed to kill the trust and faith in young boys and steal their innocence through sex abuse. The Church's reaction?? (And the Pope being head of the Church) Transfer the offending Priest to a different perish. That way, he gets to abuse a whole new set of kids and the Church gets to keep all their money.

The original Pope's (Great name for a band by the way), were allowed to marry, have sex, and produce children. Eventually this lead to affairs and then bastard children that started showing up unannounced asking for money and land. The church, realizing what a lousy system this was, decided to declare that all future Priest's and Pope's had to remain celibate. There by, giving them the rank of Monk's and there by, allowing the Church to exist in a tax free domain. So all the real estate and all the money people gave in Sunday collection, cold hard cash! Priest's weren't giving up sex to prove their devotion to god, they were giving up sex so the Church could buy more stuff (More land, Gold, and Big Hats).

One thing to another, a priest realized he had an attraction for little boys, and BOOOM!! He just happened to have a job where he's surrounded by kids. And off to the sex abuse races they went. Until, the charges started pouring in. The Catholic Church avoided cooperating in sex abuse investigations all over the earth until they absolutely had to start coughing up money. Meanwhile, thousands and thousand young men, had to live their lives were forever scarred.

The same guys that abuse children all over the world, have the balls to tell the young couples how to maintain a long lasting union or have the balls to tell us what kind of birth control we can or can't use. 2 Billion dollars and "We're sooo sorry" payments later, doesn't mean shit to the ex alter boys who ended up committing suicide or sitting on a sofa 4 times a week spilling their guts to their therapist........

In conclusion, this isn't against religion. It's against letting religion get in the way of everything else.....

(Like Human Decency)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

2010-05-09T11:12:00.001-07:00

"Now When I Say Hey, Ya'll Say Mama" -Kanye

Street Fighting Man

2010-05-06T22:30:00.000-07:00

If It Ain't Directly Directed At Me, I Don't Respect It

Anyways #1: Welcome Back!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm here to confirm the rumors that have been flying around town for the past two weeks:

Yes, the rumors are true, I'm back!!!

"Where have I been???"

(You might or might not be asking yourself at this moment)

I'm glad you asked (or didn't). I've been everywhere you haven't. I've seen things you wouldn't dare yourself to see. I've heard things that would make Satan himself put on ear plugs....

(No, I wasn't at a studio session with SHYNE)

To make a horrible story short, I've been "Here, There, Everywhere"

Horrible news for your favorite blogger though, I'm Back!!!

(Ok, this is almost as pathetic as Eve's latest attempt to making "music" again)

Anyways #2: Homeless Networking

How do I write this without offending half the nation???

Ok, I Hate Homeless People........

It's not the type of hate Rush Limbaugh has for anyone who isn't white. It's the kind of hate that you have towards your smelly, always drunk, addicted to heroin, good for nothing brother or sister.

Last week, while participating in a recreational sport with one of my friends, a homeless bloke asked if he could join us in our game of basketball. This guy couldn't of been older than 25 years old and was obviously a member of the homeless community. He spoke with an accent I have only heard while watching KKK documentaries. It was a thick Southern accent. My guess, another idiot that moved to Los Angeles in search of a better life but failed because he realized that his addiction to crack was something he couldn't leave back in Alabama........

After playing basketball with him, I didn't know what to talk to him about. I couldn't talk to him about anything that's on TV because I was pretty sure the freeway he's been spending the night under, wasn't furnished with a television set. I couldn't talk to him about politics, he's from Alabama.....

(In my mind and for the purpose of this anecdote, he's from Alabama)

After sitting next to him for 10 minutes without saying a single word, I thought of the best thing to say.....

I stood up and without hesitation, I looked straight at him and said:

"Alright man, I'll see you later"

I'M A FUCKING GENIUS!!!

Anyways #3: We Don't Believe You....

I found something else that makes me incredibly angry; THE NEWS

Not only do shows like "Primer Impacto" call themselves a "NEWS" program, they waste more than half of their show talking about shit that nobody really cares for....

Example: Ghost stories, Animals that "Speak", the face of Jesus on a kitchen wall, etc.

Of course, I can always just turn it off or switch the channel to hardcore porn, but I choose not to....

I've made a list of a couple of things "NEWS" programs should ban:

1) Texting, emailing, or twittering your opinion

Nobody gives a shit what "Simon from San Fernando" has to say about the city budget. If "Simon" had anything good to say, he wouldn't be at home calling in.

2) Interviewing Kids

Spanish channels (Univision and Telemundo), when interviewing a Hispanic teen/young adult, make sure he/she can speak Spanish fluently. Not only is he/she struggling to distinguish the difference between "YOU'RE, YOUR, THERE, THERE'S, and THEIRS" in English , he/she has no idea how to say "Education In My School Really Sucks" in Spanish

3) Interviewing Celebs

When a nation tragedy occurs, why is it that there is a must to find out what NELLY has to say???

(Yes, I just called NELLY a celebrity)

People with a stable state of mind, don't care what Paris Hilton has to say in regards to the market crash....

(OK, maybe I'm exaggerating)

Final Thoughts: Enter Title Here

Nothing much else to say/write for now......

Tune in next time, I might have something interesting to say.....

OOOOH!!!

Since this blog doesn't inspire anyone, here's something that should:

They also have a sick clothing line, just click HERE

PEACE!!!

Que Dices???

2010-05-05T00:06:00.000-07:00

I like the fact that along with Rape and Graphic Violence, they bother listing "Mild Violence". I wouldn't worry too much about the mild violence to be honest. Or "Language."

Woman: "Officer! Officer! I've been raped"

Cop: "Did he swear ?"

Woman: "Uh... not that I can remember..."

Cop: "Don't waste my time then luv"

Mass Appeal

2010-05-03T23:06:00.000-07:00

Just some of the sights this past weekend........

A Year Ago Today......

2010-04-30T02:25:00.000-07:00

"Clap for em, clap for em, clap for em, Hey" -Jay Z

KZERGABEGALLERY turns 1 year young today

Just Chillin'

2010-04-29T22:29:00.000-07:00

HA!!!

I'm Not Afraid

2010-04-29T04:28:00.000-07:00

Download: Eminem "I'm Not Afraid"

Ya Know

2010-04-29T04:25:00.000-07:00

Download: LMNO & Kev Brown "Ya KNow"

Don't say I only cover mainstream Hip-Hop

Find Your Love

2010-04-28T22:01:00.000-07:00

Drake -Find Your Love (Produced By Kanye West)

Expect this to be on heavy rotation next week....HA!!!

No Comment

2010-04-28T17:34:00.000-07:00

I'm Beamin

2010-04-28T14:29:00.000-07:00

Still Waiting For "LASERS"

PEACE!!!

2010-04-20T23:28:00.001-07:00

AIM free since 2010 (HA!!!)

I'm no longer using AOL INSTANT MESSENGER since someone else took over my screen name....

(Shame on you person with no life....) HA!!!

R.I.P. GURU

2010-04-20T01:48:00.000-07:00

The "Statement" Solar put out the other night is fake....

We all knew Guru amazing with the pen, but writing letters while he was still in a coma???? That's talent....HA!!!

How Sweet It Is

2010-04-16T11:38:00.000-07:00

Dear NBA Playoffs,

Welcome back! It's always a pleasure to see you this time of year. I hope you stay a little bit longer than you did last year. Was it something I said?? Thanks for making a couple of my request/wishes come true last year.

Will I be asking for much this year?? Does a Catholic priest enjoy watching "The Little Rascals" movie??? (The answer is yes)

Here's my list:

1. Lebron James deserves another MVP trophy. The one he already has is looking a bit lonely since he won't be getting any kind of trophy any time soon.....(Maybe the Championship, who knows)

2. I want to see Ron Artest get banned from the NBA for stabbing a referee. His motive?? just because

3. Have a fan throw a chair at Kobe for mistreating chairs every time he didn't get his way on the court (Karma is a bitch)

4. Please blow up the plane that the Boston Celtics are all in. Not because they're a threat, but because I want Rasheed Wallace to retire already (Second time I ask for their plane to go down)

5. Stephon Marbury, enough said......

Once again, in the words of the IRS, "I'm not asking for much". If you can only make one request possible, either number 3 or 4 would put a smile on my face........

Sincerely Yours,

MARVIN HERNANDEZ